SPRING+SEMESTER+2014+PARODY+AND+MAGIC

= SKEETER PUCK = = = = = = = = A "THE JOE" ORIGINAL = = = = = = = = = = Once upon a time, there was a sad, lonely man. = = His name Robert Johnson, who sat with his fan. = = = = He would sometimes sing how lonely he was = = As if Kim Jong-Il, with a head full of fuzz. = = = = Eventually his utter loneliness split his personality = = and the sad lonely man lost his punctuality. = = His clothes turned green, his surroundings turned grey = = and couldn't help but shout "HIP! HIP! HURRAY!!! = = At once Robert got up from his bed with his mature hair shed = = and hopped around like an idiot, with all his pain dead. = = "I CAN FLY! I CAN FLY! YIPPEEEEEE!!!!!!" = = He shouted, he sprang, full of glee. = = He hopped in a box, and with a fox = = as sweat filled his socks. = = He jumped with a duck and in the muck = = and at that point, he called himself Skeeter Puck! = = He hopped by the brook, with people spooked = = and then he saw Captain Hook. = = But it wasn't Captain Hook = = it was just an old fisherman by the brook. = = He had caught quite a prize, a big red carp = = So big it was, half the size of a harp. = = "Aye, I'll sell it at the market. It'll be worth a few shillings." = = But poor Peter Pan thought the carp was Tiger Lily. = = So without hesitation he grabbed a stick from the ground. = = He ran towards the old man and a pierced heart he found. = = The old man fell to the lake = = not knowing what he had done to deserve such an ill fate. = = Peter had the carp in his hand and leaped in joy = = but he was not to return the carp to the water with koi. = = He took the fish with him, yes you heard me right = = for he believe it was the princess, gracious of his "might." = = He returned home and put the fish on a stone = = baking hot under the sun, bright his scales shone. = = This be the second victim of the lonely, demented Puck = = but all he said was "You're safe now Tiger Lily" and he sprang full of luck. = = As he skipped he saw a beautiful monarch butterfly = = and grabbed the poor creature as it passed by. = = He glued the poor insect ALIVE to his doll = = just before summer was taken by fall. = = "I shall call you, Finker Swell!" Skeeter said. = = Skeeter was happy but the butterfly was red. = = It tried to struggle but was as good as dead. = = It didn't even get some final nectar, for its tummy to be fed. = = Skeeter was too lonely to realize what he had done = = so he went to his house for toys, thinking he'd won. = = = = He returned outside with six animals stuffed to the core = = But if Finker was real, she would've said "MORE! MORE! MORE!" = = To each stuffed animal, Skeeter gave them names = = unattractive to all girls and dames = = The rabbit, named Ribs, the first racoon Figgly = = the skunk was named Skootles, and the second raccoon Wiggly. = = To the fox was named Smiley, and the bear Mr. Furley = = and fake fur he had, was ever so curly. = = These names were random, and made up as Skeeter went along. = = So stupid they were, but to him not wrong. =

= "BEHOLD! MY BOYS, MY PRINCESS, MY FAIRY!" = = Skeeter suddenly spoke sounding utterly merry. = = "THIS BACKYARD IS FAIR, THIS LAND IS GRAND!" = = "I NOW CALL THIS YARD, THE NETHERLANDS!!!!!" = = But as he was about to play with his imaginary friends = = the police surrounded his house, spelling their ends. = = "WE'VE GOT YOU SURROUNDED!" The police shouted out. = = Skeeter simply responded "You can't catch me!" and did not pout. = = "You're wanted for the murder of the town's fisherman!" = = Skeeter hopped at once, and fell into the garbage bin. = = At once the cops arrested and caught him = = He spent the rest of his days in an INSANE ASYLUM! = = = = = = = = END  =