SPRING+SEMESTER+2014+WENDY+DARLING+AND+WENDY+SYNDROME

= Wendy Darling Syndrome/Dilema = (http://blog.hulihealth.com/peter-pan-y-wendy-existen/)

(https://lspeed.pascack.k12.nj.us/access/web?id=c381dc28-c6ef-11e3-9529-00e0ed353456)

According to some people, there is such thing as a Wendy Syndrome or a Wendy Dilemma. This is where women are too dependent upon their spouses and partners. They often act in an excessively motherly way towards their spouses. They treat them somewhat like immature children. These people feel the need to act like a mother to their husband. Women who are like this may be insecure and not know how to properly deal with anger. Dr. Kiley says that women with Wendy syndrome often fear rejection and have a poor self image. These women may be somewhat lacking in identity. They may base who they are and their security upon the approval of others. She may feel like she has to do everything for her husband. In the story, it was often Peter Pan's unwillingness and not his inability to do things that was keeping him from growing up, This is often the case with people who have Peter Pan Syndrome. The overprotection of people with Wendy Syndrome can cause them and the person who they are "mothering" to lose identity Sometimes, people with Wendy Syndrome may become fed up with their situation and begin to complain. People with Wendy Syndrome will often take it upon themselves to solve problems that come up. This will increase the stress that they have. (“Wendy Dilemma”). Sometimes, wives with the Wendy Dilemma overly dote upon their husbands. They would clean up after them, worry whenever they were in pain and if they gained weight. Some people, things like this come naturally to them. If a woman spends a lot of time around her husband or boyfriend, there is a high chance of developing the Wendy Syndrome. These women feel like they are improving their husband's lives through what they are doing. They can come across as naggy because of this. In many cases, these women may not get the results that they want. They may naturally do it though (Sullivan). They may love everything about their boyfriend or husband. These women will often be very forgiving of their boyfriends or husbands mistakes. If they do notice flaws or mistakes, these people will often think that they can "change" or "fix" their spouses. They may believe empty promises made by their boyfriends even after they are made many times. They may also be devastated when their husbands reach lows. They often have trouble getting free from these kinds of relationships. People with Peter Pan Syndrome may expect their partner to do most of the giving and the work in the relationship. A woman may feel self worth if she feels like she is helping a man to grow up. What women with Wendy Syndrome do not understand is men will mature when they make the decision to do so themselves. A Wendy may cling onto a relationship, even if it is not working (Eager).

= Wendy's Character =



(https://lspeed3.pascack.k12.nj.us/access/web?id=c31f71cb-b9c3-11e3-9821-002590c693bc). (http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/04/30/mommy.husbands/index.html?eref=rss_latest). http://www.womansday.com/sex-relationships/dating-marriage/talking-down

=Wendy Darling is the oldest child out of the Darlings. She enjoys the role the Peter and the lost boys put her in. She also falls naturally into it. She enjoys playing with her younger brothers, John and Michael. =

= = = Significance to Name "Wendy" = (http://www.thinkbabynames.com/meaning/0/Wendy).

(http://www.samuraibaby.com/japanese_kanji/gallery.php?q=Wendy) (https://lspeed.pascack.k12.nj.us/access/web?id=44e347df-c6f1-11e3-9529-00e0ed353456) (http://www.history.ubc.ca/faculty/lshin/teaching/320/week10/yangqian.htm)

=Some people believe the name Wendy originated from the nickname of J.M. Barrie. The daughter of English poet and editor, W.E. Henry gave him the nickname ("Wendy"). After //Peter Pan// became popular, the name Wendy did as well. (Baby Name Wizard). Wendy can be short for Gwendolyn. It means "wanderer." Wendy was originally used as a boy's name in England. The name is also considered a variation of the name Wanda. This names was also mentioned in the U.S. census in 1880 and the U.K. census in 1881. The earliest form of Wendy may have been "Wendi." There were two Chinese emperors know as Wendi. One of them was from 541 AD- 604 AD and another from 179 BC- 175 BC (Dunn). The emperor who was from 541 AD- 604 AD was Wendi Wade Giles (Wright). The Wendi who ruled China from 179 BC- 175 BC was of the Han dynasty. When he was ruler, China was peaceful and prosperous. The population was growing and industry and commerce was doing well ( "2. The Han Dynasty."). =

Wendy seems to get along with her mother very well. Mr. Darling is very strict and he does not like that Wendy likes playing child games. Mr. Darling is portrayed as somewhat narrow-minded. He does not like the stories that Wendy tells to John and Michael. Wendy and her father do love eachother and when she comes back from Neverland, Wendy seems to understand where he was coming from more. John and Michael love to hear Wendy's stories and she cares a lot about them. She is also extremely protective of her two brothers.
 * Relationship to other Characters **
 * What Wendy Learned **

Wendy realizes how much her parents must miss her and her brothers when she leaves. She is not actually the mother of Peter, John, Michael, and the lost boys but she has fitted into that role. Modernization was becoming big during the Victorian era. At the end of the story, Wendy succeeds her mother’s role. She must let her daughter Jane leave with Peter as Jane does with Margaret. Wendy does end up growing up in the end ("Peter Pan, or the Boy Who Wouldn't Grow Up - Second Star To The Right, and Straight On Till' Morning." ). At the end of the story, Wendy ends up lighting the night-light for her daughter just before she goes to sleep. When Wendy says that she is going to turn on the light, Peter Pan is depicted as scared. He also remains a child forever. This also shows that Peter is disappointed that Wendy has grown up (C.).


 * Feminist Lens **



(http://www.wheatandtares.org/12793/should-mormon-women-go-to-college/)

Peter Pan was originally published in 1911 under the title Peter Pan and Wendy. People rarely use this title today. Ella Hickson did a play focusing on Wendy more. Wendy had fallen very easily into the role of the mother. She wanted to get more into Wendy’s mind ("Wendy and Peter Pan." ). The boys never grow up while Wendy serves as their mother. Tinkerbell was also very jealous of Wendy in the original version of Peter Pan. (“And What About Wendy? Introducing a Feminist Return to Peter Pan Roots”) There is a lot of pressure from society for women to have kids (“Wendy and Peter Pan”). There were several gender stereotypes within the story of //Peter Pan.// For example, Mr. Darling is the breadwinner of the family. When Mrs. Darling tells him that she is concerned about Peter Pan visiting their house, he dismisses her. He does not take much consideration of other people's opinions. Mrs. Darling is more emotive and caring than Mr. Darling is portrayed. Wendy ends up following in her footsteps. She is also described as very beautiful. When she was younger, several guys admired her. She is the idealized housewife ( "Fairy Tales and Fantasy Literature."). Allison McCarthy had written about issues of the way women are portrayed in //Peter Pan.// She talked about the whole philosophy of //Peter Pan.// She feels like the story is exploitative and degrading to women and uses a very typical idea of masculinity. According to her, Peter Pan lives in a way that he thinks a real man should. He forces Wendy to become his mother and do the housework, look after the lost boys, and wait on him. Peter Pan always does what he wants and listens to no one except for himself. McCarthy feels like the sexism shown in //Peter Pan// is still evident today. She says that women are often expected to work and earn less than men. She feels like //Peter Pan// teaches kids that sexism and racism are okay. A lot of young boys may think that they should act like Peter Pan ("Philosophical Analysis-2 - Never Leaving Neverland: A New Look at Peter Pan and Eternal Youth").


 * Family Values/Themes **



When the Darling family is introduced, they seem to be a typical family of the time. There are two parents, three children, a dog, and a servant. John and Michael are shown to be very energetic and rambunctious. They do not want to go to bed. It is very surreal and not so typical that Mr. and Mrs. Darling accept that there is a shadow running around in their house. Wendy seems nonchalant about the shadow. When Peter tells Wendy that he can not manage to get his shadow back on, Wendy is not at all surprised. Wendy knows that sewing it on will reattach it. Children may play with their shadows but when they grow up, they must leave this behind. The fact that Mrs. Darling acknowledges that shadow, J.M. Barry is suggesting that no one, not even adults are fully grown up This suggests that growing up never ends throughout life. Childhood is evident within the nursery. There is the shadow and there is the light in the nursery. This can be interpreted as representing the childhood experience. The night-lights are on when the children are asleep. A lot of children are afraid of the dark. Children may feel lost and alone in the dark. There are the lost boys within the story. Mrs. Darkness turns on the night-lights and tells John and Michael that the night-lights are the eyes a mother leaves behind to watch her children. This shows that adults do care. Mothers do not want their children to be lost and alone. If they could, they would always be there for their children. This shows that Mrs. Darling tries very hard to keep her children safe. All children have experienced sadness and fear. Once Mrs. Darling leaves the nursery, Wendy, John, and Michael go on the adventure with Peter Pan. Peter has lost his shadow and it is in the possession of Mr. and Mrs. Darling. Tinkerbell is with Peter. The night-lights go out and Tinkerbell becomes the main light source. ( C. ). Mrs. Darling does not work and stays at home. She is the typical idealized housewife. She listens to everything Mr. Darling has to say. Mr. Darling is an English gentleman who is very strict and sticks with reality. He tries to make it like he is the most mature person in the house but throughout the beginning of the book, he does not act very mature. He ends up feeding Nana his dose of medicine as a joke and he puts her outside because he is jealous of the kids' affection for her (Rakover). Wendy and Tiger Lily were both damsels in distress in this story and Peter has to save them. The jealous interactions between the women in the book can seen as them seeing themselves through Peter's eyes and feeling unfulfilled without his attention (Davis). One theme within Peter Pan is that nobody has grownup or mature ideas. This includes adults. Another idea within the story that mothers fear Peter Pan because he draws their children away ( "PeterPan." ).

Links:

[|http://fromdoctor.com/wendy-syndrome-excess-liability.html]- This page from FromDoctor.com describes more about Wendy Syndrome/Dilema. People with Wendy Syndrome feel responsible for protecting others. They feel that if the other people do not have their protection, they will not be safe. Generally, more women than men are affected by this because of cultural problems. People with Wendy Syndrome are usually people-pleasers. Sometimes, these people may be small people who have not felt sufficiently protected in the past. These people transfer their need of being protected by taking care of other people.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/05/070501112023.htm- This article on ScienceDaily is mainly about the Peter Pan syndrome. It talks about how overprotective parents can cause Peter Pan Syndrome. People with Peter Pan Syndrome do not want to face the troubles and cold hard reality of the adult world so they decide to be avoidant. This article does tie in Wendy Syndrome/Dilemma and how there is often a "Wendy" in the life of people with Peter Pan Syndrome. A person with Wendy Syndrome will usually make decisions for and take on the responsibilities of her partner, justifying his unreliability. People with Peter Pan Syndrome do not want to grow up. "Peter Pan Syndrome" is not a proper psychological term or formal disorder but there is a lot of evidence of it in adults in Western Society.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErOetjSDX3c

**__Works Cited__**

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